If you read my posts from a few months back, I talked about how I was unsure a few years ago if leaving my old relationship was worth it. I didn’t know what was out there for me or if what I had was the best that I would ever have. Although I think I knew deep down this wasn’t the relationship I am supposed to be in for forever, I had doubts that I would find someone else or something better. I was worried about being lonely and it held me back from leaving that old and outgrown relationship. As I was given zero options but to move forward I had no choice but to end up by myself. All the fear I had of being alone, was my new reality and to be honest, it’s my new favorite thing.
If I was never pushed into something I didn’t think I was ready for, I would have never experienced this much freedom. I constantly thought about ending my old relationship, but that relationship was my comfort zone. I was settling for comfort and now that I have tasted what it is like to be happy and alone, I will never return to settling for comfort again. That relationship is just an old chapter in my story. In no way will it ever resurface in my future. I learned so many qualities about myself after leaving that relationship, so much so that I have been flourishing into a better human being because of it. With that being said, I learned that I love being alone.
As I continue to date myself for the next six months to finish out my full year, I have been thinking a lot about what is to come. I’m not sure how the end of my next six months will play out, but I realized I have no problem dating myself for a bit longer. When I started this whole journey six months ago to date myself and discover who I am, I thought it was going to be so hard to not date anyone. I was never the type of person to say no to new opportunities. I always had the mindset of, ‘you never know who you will meet.’ But I also never had the time to take for myself and figure out who I am. I was anxious, nervous, but excited. Now as I am halfway through to the end of the year, I am a little bummed out, I wish I had more time. Me, the one who was scared to be by herself, is now wanting more time alone.
I realized my biggest fear before is now my new comfort zone. I am happy alone, and I have no desire to chase after anything. My focus is solely on how I can be better than I was the day before. I’m no longer chasing the attention of others, or their validation. I no longer care if people talk to me or hang out with me because I have fun on my own. I am having so much fun figuring out who I am, what I enjoy, putting myself first, and just loving everything about me.
I never thought I would be so content on my own, and honestly I would have never found out if I wasn’t forced into it. Don’t wait so long like I did, and it doesn’t matter if you aren’t ready, because when given the opportunity you will impress yourself with how much you really can stand on your own two feet. Never settle for comfort-ability, you are worth much more.
Sending love and happiness,