It’s been awhile since I have spoken to all of you, to say the least. I’ve been thrown some unexpected curveballs, but all blessings. Actually now that I think about it, I have had a significant amount of blessings enter my life the last few months since I have last wrote.
As mentioned in my six month check-in, I stated I didn’t think I would be dating for awhile, even after my year was up. Let’s just take a minute to laugh about how I have zero control as to what enters my life, and appreciate how the big man upstairs knows what’s best for you.
I thought I had my life figured out, I would finish my year being alone and then God would eventually bless me with the right person when I told him I was ready. HAHAHA, good one Alison. God blessed me before my year is up, so he must have thought I had achieved all I could while being alone, and gave me a new challenge to achieve better for myself while dating.
[Before I get into all that, let me just take a moment to apologize to all of you who have been following this journey and apologize to myself. I’m apologizing for not keeping up better with this. I honestly want to write and blog my life, but at the same time I thought others would doubt me or I would inevitably doubt myself because I didn’t finish out my year alone.
I’ll stop beating around the bush, and let y’all know I am currently, in fact, dating. Some friends of mine were upset with me that I didn’t stick to my full year. I let the judgment of others on MY LIFE, control how much I posted. I assumed a lot of others would be upset as well, not that anyone gives a shit about what I write, but the essence of writing my experiences in hopes to help others and that I in fact didn’t finish what I started. Allie I am sorry I was worried what others would think, and it doesn’t matter what they think, because this is your life and I am not sorry for how this year is going].
Alright with that being said, lets get back on topic. I didn’t go looking to date, obviously. It just ended up happening. I didn’t foresee it whatsoever. As we have gathered, I am pretty oblivious. I was naive to think I had a say as to what would happen within my year. I honestly had this plan that I would learn as much as possible about myself and completely heal from everything before allowing a person into my life. To think I had control over this year, is truly a joke within itself.
Do I wish that I had finished my year? Sometimes yes. Just to say that I did it. But do I regret how things have changed? Absolutely not. God made me, he sees what I am about to go through, while currently dealing with something completely different. God saw me and all the hard work I was putting into myself and him, and thought that it was time I grow more within myself and through others by bringing me the right person for me.
I wouldn’t say I mastered everything within myself, but I feel as though I have a pretty good grip on myself. I broke old habits and formed better ones. I was growing everyday, but I wasn’t necessarily challenging myself. Growing and changing happens whether we want it to or not. But to challenge yourself is something entirely different. You can want to grow and accept the change, but if you aren’t challenging yourself in new heights, you’ll never realize how great you are. Something about us can always be better achieved than how we were the day before. I felt as though I was by myself and growing and focusing on myself and God, that maybe I was being a little selfish. I just had myself and God to worry about, I didn’t have anyone else to pour hard work and effort into. I actually thought about that a lot, it was a concern I had. If or when I would date again, how would I balance out my time for myself and being there for me, while also pouring effort into someone else? God sees us, he knows what we are going through. He knew I had concerns about this, and maybe that’s why he sent me into a new change of pace with a new person. Whatever his reason was, I am fully embracing it. I trust God knows what he is doing with my life, and if it means he sends me someone before my year is up then so be it; because I TRUST HIM.
I’ll be sure to update y’all with other posts about where I am at right now, and new struggles, conversations, or situations I have found myself in within the last few months. But for now lets just remember that no matter how much we plan our lives out, or how we wish things would happen for us, in the way we want, we don’t have an understanding on what we need. Only God can see what we need, and he sends you everything you will ever need in his perfect timing. Trust the Lord, he is always watching out for you, he is constantly sending you new beginnings, new challenges, and one’s that you can tackle. God never sends you anything you can’t handle. Believe in yourself, believe in God and he will get you there.
Radiate positivity and happiness,
– Allie
Living Overload 