Wedding season is upon us and I love weddings. Nothing is more fun then dressing up and celebrating your loved ones getting married. I love all the small details brides and grooms take part on in making their day beautiful. When one of my most treasured friends from elementary school who I had the privilege to grow up with and attend the same schools the whole way through college, asked me to come to his wedding I immediately said yes! I just love, love. The best way to make my day is to invite me to a wedding. I think about it for months, what am I going to wear, what is my hair going to look like, how am I going to do my makeup. I literally think of everything imaginable when I’m asked to go to a wedding.
When I was asked to attend his wedding I was in a relationship so the thought of going alone, was unheard of, until it wasn’t. Since dating myself, that obviously means the relationship I was in, is no longer a thing. I had already sent out the RSVP stating I was bringing a plus one. My friend and his soon to be wife has already paid for him to go. What the hell am I supposed to do? Of course a friend of mine told me to hit the dating apps to find a wedding date. News flash: I have never been on a dating app in my entire life and it turns out I am absolutely terrible at trying to make conversation with other people in a virtual world. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am pretty awkward in person, but nothing compares to the new awkwardness I have endured trying to find a wedding date online. I figured it was better to have a wedding date you don’t know than to not have one at all.
I tried for months leading up to the wedding and struck out every time. Something about going alone just frightened me and I couldn’t bear to go by myself. But as time was closing in and I realized I had no one to take I knew I would be going alone. At this point I wasn’t so much afraid to go alone, I just felt extremely bad that my friend had paid for my plus one and that is money they could have saved. But the night before, he calls me and asks if I am still bringing a plus one and I confirmed it would just be me. Like this is happening, I said it out loud, I am going to a wedding, where you celebrate love with your loved ones by yourself. I was carpooling with my best friend and her husband so at least I had people I knew and could sit with, but I know they have each other and they will be dancing and being cute and I’ll be at my table eating and drinking alone. Thinking of being alone at this wedding, for a split second I didn’t want to go, but I knew I would never miss his wedding for anything and even if I have to go alone, I am not missing his wedding.
The day of the wedding is finally here, I debated doing my hair and makeup how I planned because I wasn’t going with anyone so what’s the point of being cute if you aren’t going to be shown off? Then it hit me, why can’t I be the person to show myself off? Why can’t I get all dolled up and that be enough for me, and just have a good time taking myself to this wedding? So I got ready, did my hair and makeup, got all dolled up and even took a few pictures to remember the time that I was brave enough to walk into a wedding alone. I had no idea how the day would go, if I would be sitting at a table by myself, or if I would be brave enough (or drunk enough) to be around other people dancing. I had no idea and it was a little nerve-racking but the time is now and I was about to find out.
Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of fun I was about to have. HOLY SHIT! Going to a wedding by yourself is SO much fun! I had one of the best times of my life at a wedding by myself. Of course my friends made it memorable, but the fact that I can have fun without the security of having someone else with me is incredible. Ya’ll I danced, and I am the WORST dancer. I don’t even dance when I am drunk, because I know I cannot dance. But at this wedding I did. I put everything aside and just celebrated love. Their love.
I like being alone in my own space, but I showed myself, even being around a bunch of other people, I can still have fun even if it’s just me. I don’t need someone on my arm to have a good time, I can make a good time out of anything. I think I was so worried about not having a date because when you think of weddings, you think of yourself and your partner. When you don’t have a partner, you wonder if you are even achieving anything because you don’t have someone to dance with at the wedding, or think about how lucky you are, or your love with that person while you are celebrating the bride and groom’s love. I think I was so caught up in focusing on my love and what I do or don’t have, that I forgot I am there to celebrate their love. When I saw my friends getting married I remembered why I was there. To celebrate them, to celebrate the love they have on their special day and I did just that.
Living Overload 